Review: Falling Into You by Jasinda Wilder

Falling Into You
by Jasinda Wilder
Published on: 3/16/13
Self Published
New Adult/Contemporary Romance

I wasn't always in love with Colton Calloway; I was in love with his younger brother, Kyle, first. Kyle was my first one true love, my first in every way.
Then, one stormy August night, he died, and the person I was died with him.

Colton didn't teach me how to live. He didn't heal the pain. He didn't make it okay. He taught me how to hurt, how to not be okay, and, eventually, how to let go.

My Rating: 5 Coffee Cups!!

Ever since I read Jasinda's teaser on her website (and freaking teared up! At a teaser!) I was waiting, not so patiently, to get my grubby little hands on this book. I sat on my computer on March 16th periodically refreshing Amazon until it showed up- I kid you not. And it was so completely worth it. This was a heartbreaking love story of two people using and helping each other to try and mend their own broken souls.

Like the blurb says, Nell fell in love with two brothers. They were entirely different men and it was entirely different types of love. Kyle was Nell's best friend. They grew up together and they learned how to fall in love together. They were each other's first in every way. 

"I know we are young. . . . . And I know most people would say we're just kids, or too young to know what love is. But screw that. I've know you my whole life. We have shared everything together. Every important thing in our lives has happened together. . . . And now we're learning how to fall in love together. I don't care what any one else says. I love you. I'll always love you, no matter what happens with us in the future. I love you now and forever. "

They begin to figure out their futures together and then tragedy strikes. Kyle, even in his last moment, is completely devoted to Nell. I'm telling you now, you WILL cry during Kyle's death scene. It's heartbreaking. You feel Nell's pain and guilt and sorrow as if it's your own. You feel her going thru the motions in robot-mode. Dealing with her parents, the funeral. Then her world is turned upside down when she meets Kyle's older brother Colton.

She had seen him briefly in the past, but when he moved out when he was 17 he stayed away so she never really knew him. He doesn't ask questions, he doesn't judge and his presence gives her comfort, which is what helps her get thru Kyle's funeral. And then she sees him on the dock...

Two years pass before they see each other again in NYC. Two years of Nell still feeling guilty and not allowing herself to be happy and actually relishing in pain because she believes she deserves it. Two years also pass for Colt who struggled to pull himself out of the mess that he had been caught up in. He knows, pretty succinctly, what Nell is going thru and he wants to be there for her and help her thru it. 

“We understand each other, Nelly. We’ve both lost someone we love. We both have scars and regrets and anger. We can do this together.”

“I can’t be fixed.”
“You’re committed to being broken forever?”
“Goddamit, Colton. Why are you doing this? You don’t know me.”
“I want to.” It’s the answer to both of her statements. 

They fall and they fall hard. Which adds another layer of guilt onto Nell. Not only has she moved on, but it's the kind of love that consumes you. She loved Kyle, yes, but she realizes that the kind of love they shared felt nothing like the all-consuming, needing, passionate, scorching love that she has for Colt (which results in a few spicy scenes I will say). They go thru a lot through the course of this book. Not only is Nell holding onto something, so is Colt. They hurt each other, they fix each other, they simply rely on each other to get through every day.

This book was amazing. It captured my heart. I smiled, I cried (a lot), I smiled again. If the blurb alone wasn't enough to catch me the dedication did.

“This book is for anyone who has ever lost a loved one, for anyone who has woken up crying and gone to bed the same way, for anyone who has had to learn that it’s okay to not be okay. Surviving isn’t strength, it’s continuing to breathe one day at a time; strength is learning to live despite the pain.”  

I lost someone extremely close to me, and not that long ago. This dedication felt like Jasinda was speaking directly to me. I couldn't not read it.